Another day. Another day of too much time in the Library

I spent 5 hours in the library today. Lots of those hours were spent writing a paper for Dr.Spina. I wanted it to be good, but maybe it will suck. It seemed good, but by the end of 5 hours I had no idea if it was good or not.

I played out in the sun before the library. I went on a run to gasworks park, played catch in the sun, and chatted (shout out to Lindsey Goff) with friends. It was a full day.

I know this person who I am trying to become on at least “I like seeing you.” basis with. This person has a philosophy of friendship that states that friendship is complicated and needs time to develop. I appreciate and respect that…but gosh, it makes me feel like a chump whose actions are constantly being evaluated on a scale of friendship-worthiness. I was in a contrary mood today like I am a lot of times and I looked at myself from without and realized that I just sounded like an asshole. Hopefully it doesn’t seem that way all the time…Either way, I don’t do well with first impressions. Hopefully this person gives me time. It quite honestly bewilders me a bit when people look at me with strangely skeptical eyes. I really do my best to be myself as much as I can. Sometimes who I am is a rude, oafish lout who doesn’t appreciate people enough…Sigh.

I’m really tired. I’m going to bed.