Almost 5 days left.

Boatswain’s Log November 20^th.

 

Well. I got owned again today. I thought that the real hard stuff was done for, but today proved me wrong mostly.

 

I am starting to notice a pattern that emerges here. I go to sleep and then right at the key sleep time (1-2 hours before I should wake up) I am woken up anyway by some noisy thing. Sometimes it is my host mom making food and I can’t complain about that. However, sometimes it is Yeiner being a loud 11 year old before 7AM. I am beginning to think that he is a morning person.

 

Last night after sowing rice for most of the day I passed out. I went to bed halfway through the soccer selection game in which Costa Rica beat El Salvador by a hair, and slept hard. I woke up too early though, as I mentioned.

 

Then I moved lumber around all day. It takes it out of a man (hauling lumber around). I got a break to do homework and I managed to finish my last essay on the book that was trouble for me in my head. It turns out that author guy didn’t really do that good of a job, as I processed what I had read after the fact I found that he was really pretty sloppy. It wasn’t as though he was trying to make a logical argument of any sort, it was more of an emotional lashing out at something he didn’t like (scriptural authority) that in his mind causes violence…instead of the people interpreting the scripture. Negative points for duder.

 

We were building the corral today and almost got a roof on it. That was nice. My part of the building process? Lifting things. I guess I am okay at that and that it wouldn’t have been good if I had a different role, but it certainly pisses me off when an 11 year old is dicking around at the work site and trying to tell me what to do and what the right way to do things is. I got tired and Yeiner got infinitely more annoying. Sigh.

 

I seemed to have misplaced the good attitude I found a few days ago. I just got furious in the process of working and therefore found myself with a mental block that derailed any sort of useful mental energy. I did my best to show a good attitude in place of the tiredness and frustration that was my inner thought life. I wish very much that I knew how to like the work I do here, but every day I draw nearer to going home is a welcome day and I am ready to be done. I hear that someone in our program starts work at 4AM and ends around 5PMish…I have it better than whoever that is, but man how do you “consider it pure joy when you endure trials of any kind” like James asserts we ought to? I really hate them. I don’t know how to say I like that life is extraordinarily difficult right now, because I don’t like it. I am 100% sure that I am learning something here, but I have no idea what. I know for sure that I am getting periodically destroyed by work, regularly annoyed by an 11 year old, and overall enjoying time with this family…but apart from that, I really do wonder what Jesus wants to show me and will I be able to learn it if I am consistently frustrated.

 

I was reading my bible after work ended and it lifted up my day quite a lot. I memorized a verse that is pretty cool. Deuteronomy 13:4 “The LORD your God you shall follow, Him alone you shall fear, His commandments you shall keep, His voice you shall obey, Him you shall serve, and to Him you shall hold fast.” I liked it, and now I know it. Super cool!

My host mom and I talked a bit today about what life was like while back. Apparently they used to live about 3 hours by horse from here in the middle of nowhere. She said it was hard to take babies places on a horse, whether one is pregnant or not. Gosh.