High School Camp.

Oh yes. High school camp. It’s been interesting. Lots of kids flirting with each other, not so much in the way of playing with stuff. There’s mostly hanging around on stuff or in stuff. Everyone is wicked tired (myself included to some degree) and lots of people are sick. I suppose I’ll give you highlights.

I got punched in the face being Two-face in our batman skit.

I scared the heck out of kids during the night game while driving the gator.

I drove a boat for wakeboarders all week.

I somehow earned “cool” status among the high schoolers.

I didn’t wear a shirt as much as possible.

During high school week we do a carnival at camp. Many of us man booths and do assorted things like allow kids to shave balloons for tickets. The tickets earn them food or the right to send their counselor or counselor in training into the water from about 15 feet. My booth was a wrestling booth or better yet a “wrasslin’” booth. My friend Riley and I wrestled a whole bunch of campers. Some were good. Some were not. Riley and I switched off, we battled them based on points because submission wrestling would have resulted in broken bones or dead campers. I played “wrassle the suckas” until a camper who had something to prove put his head into my jaw. Either he head-butted me or tried to get up and my face was in the way. I’m still not sure which.

I got to spend time with some great campers. This one cool kid and I went kayaking this morning at 7AM. We talked about life and Jesus. It was great. That’s what you can do as waterfront director. After that I drove a boat for a long time. It didn’t start for awhile. I felt dumb.

I’m starting to realize something about myself. I do a crappy job of accepting the love of Jesus. Every day. I found myself being stupid this week and crushin’ on the ladies. That’s not always stupid. But when I find myself drawing my value from how they make me feel loved…It’s stupid. I rode a stupid emotional rollercoaster all week until I realized this and then afterwards. Then I didn’t know quite what to do. How do you change something about yourself that you hate? I hate feeling like crap because girls aren’t giving me attention.

The speaker this week really helped figure that one out. His name is John Enbow. He has wicked funny hand gestures and stories. He was talking about prayer. I remembered something important in the process. God answers prayer. I guess I forgot that. I was praying, but somehow I forgot that Jesus actually listens and answers. That means when I ask Him for something like “Let me feel loved by you.” He follows through. He answers. I waited.

He answered. I was sitting at the music time we have at night called center stage and I was taken aback by a skit that some Counselors in Training did. There was this girl who was hanging out with a guy in a white shirt (Jesus) and things in her life kept getting between them. Jesus kept chasing the girl. More and more crap came inbetween them. Jesus kept pushing forward almost in tears because of the things she was doing to herself. Eventually He broke through to the girl and held the things that had creeped into her life at bay. That hit me hard. Jesus is chasing me. He’s chasing you. He hurts when I hurt. He doesn’t give up. Why? Because He loves us. A lot.

He’s doing a good job of answering my prayers. I started reading this book called “the shack”. It’s about this guy who meets God (in person) and hangs out with Him. God is funny. God is almost overly playful sometimes in the way the author portrays Him. One thing is clear though: God loves the main character in this book. There’s this line from the book that goes something like “The way people are meant to live is as though they are loved. Because they are. To live in any other way is to not experience what you were meant to.”

In essence I walked away from reading this book (which took me awhile to open because it came as a gift
from a girl who placed significant amounts of pain in my heart…yep. It’s one of those days where I don’t hold back) feeling for the first time I can remember that Jesus loves me. I suppose that I knew it before, but there’s a difference for me between knowing something in my head and owning it in my heart. Maybe you have that too. This was a big one though.

It’s interesting to me how many things we “know” as christians, but at the same time don’t really know to the core of our being. Somtimes they’re silly things, other times they’re things that change your outlook on life. I felt at peace for most of the day. Wasn’t always like that.

To bring it back to a silly note before I leave I was thinking about how much unnecessary time I spend naked. Not enough I thought. My goal is now to go to the bathroom and sit and read for a few hours late at night. I think it’ll be good. Reading, no clothes, reading, and no clothes.

That’s all for now. My friend Zac is getting married this weekend. Hurrah! I am an usher. I can usher in a new era of peace and happiness…or I can take people to their chairs.