The things I did…Just in case you were wondering.

Well. It’s been a might long week. I think the last time I wrote stuff was on Wednesday. So I’ll shoot you straight for what’s been going on in the past.

Tuesday:I forgot to tell you that I spent a long time (2.5 hours) allowing new residents into upper Gwinn so they could sign up for housing. I got to spend time with Aaron Bollinger and some other PA folk. Seriously. These people make me glad to be alive. I said the words “binding legal document” a whole lot. See the authority I wield? Just like Slyvester Stallone playing Judge Dredd I am the law.

Thursday: No class, but I did spend some great time with Bob Zurinsky. He was nice enough to buy me lunch. Those sandwiches from Noah’s are tasty. We talked about “Kingdom of God” theology. Essentially that means a theology that is focused in the future (grounded in hope) given that the future is when the things that God desires to occur will occur. I thought that it was a good thing to think about. I think that it’s very important for Christians to think about the biblical metanarrative (the overarching story of God’s people). Although I would say that at the same time it’s important to remember the present as well. As humans the only thing we can influence is the present. The only time we are guaranteed is now. So, while we hope for the future I don’t see that hope as a reason to be fatalistic about the present crappy state of affairs and not work for their change. I’m not saying that Kingdom of God theology encourages that, but simply that sometimes we are given great perspectives from different places about how we ought to think about God. It’s easy to take one perspective and run with it. The worthy challenge is operating within a wide spectrum of perspectives (like the 4 gospels for example).

So after time with Bob I had an open sort of afternoon, which I made the most of by doing homework and ironing things. I know. It wasn’t exciting. I’m sorry. Not all of life is.

Then on Thursday night I went to Leadership Celebration. This is the event in which all the leadership from all over campus come and eat food and hang out for about 3 hours. It was nice. Not as fantastic as last year, but in its defense last year I was there as the “photography club engineer” (i.e. not a real leadership role)…and I felt like I was into way more of the girls in the room. In any case this was pretty fun. Emerson hall rocked the slide show. I dunno if that was because we were the ones who sent in the most pictures or because our pictures were the best. I think both.

It was great to relive the memories from the year via a slide show. I loved seeing old pictures of Ben Troop with short hair and the rest of my staff and I looking younger and less like the people we are today. At the same time, I finally started to realize that in about 2 weeks this is all going to end. I am going to stop being a Peer Advisor, I am going to pack up my crap, and I am going to leave this wonderful city that I love for a good 6 months to return in January (after Costa Rica). That’s a lot to process. I have loved this job, living in this room, hanging out with my residents, and overall most of the things about this year. I’ve made great friendships and very lasting sorts of memories. Honesty, if I had the option to go back in time and decide to do it all over again…I probably would. Still, I’m really going to miss this wonderful staff, my awesome floor with guys who I appreciate, and in general this whole community of people. Sigh. I could probably cry if I let myself. I think I’ll just hold it in until I have to check my guys out…Then I’ll probably cry…and then when they’re all gone…and then when I remember how great this year was. Not necessarily tears of pain and sorrow. I guess the sort that come from mourning the change that happens to all things, even the things you love (not Jesus though).

I’ve never been great at dealing with change. I wish good things could last forever. I want infinite time to develop relationships and do sweet things with people I love. Sadly I don’t have this time. I get frustrated that for some of the people I’ve gotten to know it will be one of those “see you in the next life” sort of things. I suppose that this is better than “goodbye forever”. Still though, why do I always find myself so unready to say goodbye? I hate it more than a lot of things.

Is it ever really goodbye though? I think that in many ways the people we have been blessed to know leave small bits of them in us that are the result of countless tiny interactions. So maybe we never really have to say goodbye because pieces of other people live in us. All the same. I still hate saying goodbye. No matter how I justify it to myself.

Friday: Class. Presentations in my business class made my groups project seem somewhat less glamorous…definately less glamorous. Real good one on one with Aaron. Running after class. Then hung out with the boys on the floor all night.

Saturday (Today): Woke up at noon after evil migraine. 4:30AM. I awake with pain in my head. 4:30-4:45AM. I try to sleep the pain away. 5AM. No luck on sleeping the pain away. Borrow 2 advil from suitemates. 5-5:30AM Try to sleep in a variety of positions. Sitting on couch. Sitting in bed. Sitting in chair. Lying on couch. Lying in bed. Everything hurts. 5:30AM. Borrow 3rd Advil. 5:45ish…fall asleep. 6:30ish. Wake up get into bed. Real sleep happens till noon.

Then a trip to Alki with the boys on the floor. The Puge was not quite as cold this week. I swam around a bit more. A friend of mine brought his brother with us…his brother whined alot. However, neither of them were wearing shorts or sandals…they wore jeans…in 75 degree weather…at the beach. I guess in the end I didn’t feel bad for my friend’s brother. He made his choice. He didn’t come to the beach to play in the water. The rest of us did. We also looked for crabs so we could “battle” them. It was not really sucessful, but it was really fun. I felt like I was five again.

Then dinner happened at Gwinn. Then we (guys from the floor and sister floor) went to Coldstone creamery (I bought coffee icecream with gummy bears. 2 of my favorite things become one superduper cool thing.) where my friend Ben Creelman met us. I love this guy. He’s really impressive. My roommate and I agreed freshman year that he’s the most eligible bachelor that we know. Girls should date him. He does card tricks. They’re confusingly awesome. In any case he and I talked about life as we hadn’t had a chance to catch up in awhile. While we were talking he mentioned how something in his life was left a bit more confusing and I said, “Well, Jesus does really well with question marks.” I think that’s true. He really does. When we try and make things all clear and have a close-fisted grip on what we think things will be I think it impedes our ability to respond to the Holy Spirit. We aren’t meant to have a map to where we’re going, we are meant to follow. Here this verse is neat. It’s okay to not have stuff figured out and to be weak:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)