Everyone’s gone. I will be gone soon too…gone to Bellingham.

Well, there aren’t anymore residents left on the floor. Just me. I walked through and assessed fines. I hate that part of my job, I really dislike fining people for soap scum on their bathtub. I really dislike having to look for soap scum. SIGH. Oh well. Anyhow, it’s really quiet hereabouts. It reminds me of the beginning of the year when I was doing half-assed decorations and being really nervous about what this job would be like. I was really worried that when the guys walked on the floor that I wouldn’t connect with any of them and that I would have to enforce rules all the time. That’s not the case. Luckily.

Being here on an empty floor makes me think about the other times that this has happened and will happen. 1)before everyone was here 2)at the end of Fall quarter 3)now 4)at the end of the year. When I think of it like this I realize how much I love my job and really enjoy being around the guys on the floor. I think that for all the effect that it’s had on my social life, relationships with other friends, and schedule I am really going to miss it. Not the title, but what I get to do. I get PAID to hang out with college age guys and (for lack of a better phrase) dick around. What’s more I get paid to do that with college age guys that I enjoy being around. In essence I get paid to do something I enjoy doing. Hmmm. I don’t enjoy it all the time. Some guys are a pain in the ass sometimes, and fining people is a challenge…but overall…this is something I really like doing. I’ve got one more quarter of this job and that makes me excited/sad/challenged all at the same time. I am very ready for Spring.

I got a thing from my Chilean foreign exchange program. In case I didn’t say or you didn’t know, I’m going to Chile in July. Until December. I sign a thing that says that I won’t speak english while I’m there. I was also told i na pamphlet to keep “a low profile”….Well…I’m 6′ 6″. I’m American. I weigh about 250 pounds. I have voice that carries and I’m not going to but chilean clothes just to fit in. Looks like that one is out. By the way, foreign exchange is really pricey. It makes me worried about next year financially, but then again…it’s just another fun opportunity to trust in the Lord and His provision. Do I really take Jesus at His word when He says not to worry? I think I ought to. It’s alot easier that way.

I’m going home in about two hours. Back to Bellingham. Not too much to do there, but there are people I really appreciate there. I think in general it will be nice to spend time with them.

My friend Michael Miller left for Europe today. I’m going to buy him something in Chile and he’ll buy me something and then we’ll trade. That makes me pumped. We’re both hopefully going to end up with some cool stuff. I’ll miss him while he’s gone though.

Sometimes people (especially me) try to feel for just a set amount of time. We’re always trying to quantify emotions (and relationships). The odd thing is that they cannot be measured like that. We can’t give ourselves just a day to mourn someone we lose. We need a vague amount of time that isn’t measured in days, but rather in the time we need to heal. Instead of setting time limits and deadlines on emotions and relationships maybe it’d be helpful if we let ourselves feel for as long as we felt. That way we could stop when it was natural to do so. The concept that we’ve been fed about “just getting over” things is silly. It doesn’t work like that. People don’t work like that.

I feel like reminiscing. I’m looking back on what I’ve experienced this year and I find myself older and more emotionally calloused than before. In some ways I wonder if that is what everyone experiences. Do we all get more jaded as life goes on? or is the point to achieve the opposite? I really don’t know. It’s just a strange and new place to be. I think when you mess about with romantic relationships there’s the possibility of being significantly hurt. There’s that possibility in every real relationship. When it happens it’s not fun and then you feel older afterwards. At least I do. It’s harder to try again because you’re older and know more of what the stakes are…which really means you got hurt and you’re scared to get that way again.

That’s about all I’ve got to talk about. It’s been a bit depressing hasn’t it? Probably. I wish I had more funny things to share. I don’t though. Youtube might. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMo_boi1Yw0 Stick the whole thing out. Good stuff.