Oh migraine, how I loathe thee…

So, you may notice several things about this post 1) I missed a day. 2)It’s early. The reason it’s early is because I won’t have time later tonight. I’m telling my life story to the floor and then the Creed cover band that I am a part of for a single show in two weeks has practice. I don’t actually like Creed. Don’t worry. I just do a good Scott Staff impression and we thought it’d be funny to cover some songs in the highly falsified state of “this is one of my favorite artists”. It’ll be funny. What’s funnier, is that for it to work we have to actually practice Creed songs…Not a fantastic enterprise by any means.

The reason I missed last night’s fun post was because for the past 2 days I have slept very poorly and so I decided to go to bed early and catch up on some sleep I figured I wouldn’t blog to catch up on that sleep. Well, it seemed to almost work…but then I got a migraine at about 3AM. I took an excedrin…It didn’t go away. I took another one, then it did. I fell asleep again and then woke up. I called my friend Katie Ann and canceled our breakfast plans for this morning (which I am still somewhat pissed about) to sleep more. I then went about my day.

I went to my friend Jarrett Mylander’s house this evening for dinner and we made pizza. It was a good time. I realized in the space of the time we hung out and played Mario Kart 64 (That game is boss) that I am worried about a lot of things unnecessarily. Jarrett is graduating this year. I have another year and a half. Quite frankly, yesterday I was terrified by the idea of what was to come. Not in this quarter or next quarter, but what happens after.

At the end of this year I’m going to South America. I am most likely going to the Dominican Republic and Chile for a total of 6 months. I’ll be out of the country for 6 months and then when I get back I probably won’t have a place to live…Then I have 2 quarters and then I graduate. I was freaking out. I didn’t know where I was going to live, who I would live with, or if I would have any friends when I get back. Are they all going to disappear? Why am I going abroad? What is my plan afterwards? I was not really pumped about any of it for about 2 days. I am super excited for it now, but at the same time I am going to do something I’ve never done before and I have no idea what is going to happen. The future is f’ing scary if you think about it too much. I mean really. Don’t do it, but if you do think about it you can get yourself stressed out about everything before it comes. I could worry about paying off loans, finding a wife (or becoming celibate), whether or not calvinists are right, and everything inbetween. None of it matters right now though as I realized. You know why? Becuase if you think about it, all we’ve got is the present. We have this moment right now. The moment I write this and the moment you are reading it are all we’ve got to control. We can’t change the past and we can’t tell what the future is going to be. Sometimes it’s important to plan ahead, but other times thinking ahead separates you too much from the present and hinders your ability to do what needs to be done. There’s a balance, but think of it this way: in the Lord’s prayer Christ tells us to ask God for our DAILY bread. That doesn’t mean a weeks supply of bread, bread for a month, or even bread for 2 days. He means what we need each day. The things that you need to survive (spiritually, mentally, and physically) each day. Worrying about the future and trying to change it aren’t going to do anything if you do so at the expense of the present moment that you’ve got with other people and with Jesus.

Hmm…That being said I’m going to leave you a bit early this time and spend time doing things. But I guess I’ll tell you a story before I leave:

There was once a boy. The boy hung out with a wizard a few times and then became the king of England without meaning to at the beginning.

Sound familiar? that’s king Arthur. Maybe not a true story…especially if you take the disney version with talking owls and wizards duels, but in any case it makes you think. If he became the king of England without meaning to, and a variety of other people stumbled into amazing things without planning…Maybe we can do the same. Maybe our ability to deal with the future isn’t our ability to be prepared for it, but rather the spirit in which we live each moment….Deep thoughts? Well, they either are or they aren’t.